Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Today is rather a special day to me. Yesterday I still dreaming and still sleeping in my emotions. I was still like a child, crying for love and crying over nth. But then, someone woke me up from the dream. He made me understand that if I go on like this, if I go on letting emotions over power me, then I will suffocate bf and made him worry. He made me felt ashamed. I am ashamed that I was so emotional over silly things that if look at others, I'm actually better in the sense that I can meet up wif bf coz although he will work soon, he is still in kl area. Unlike that fren, the gf is in canada and its been months since they last met. When I told him I miss bf til cry non stop, he as if scolding me and that made me woke up, coz he is worse than me. I insaf di lo. Ish. I'm so sori. Darling, sorry that I made u worry alot and if i made u feel suffocating being my bf. So sori. Actuali today is special coz it was last meeting wif bf b4 he comes bck again in a week time. Actualli after he comes bck he will start his training and i think we will meet less, thats y i went emo past few weeks and yesterday. I feel very em seh tak him. Reali missing him but then, wat that fren said is true. I should go on wif my own life and studies. Must not let him worry if I reali love him. And now, I must keep this target. I must go on wif my life go strong again bck. I MUST!!! I WILL DO IT! Today had lunch wif bf at Pizza Hut, and after that went bck to his hse and studied a chapter plus. Then we had long talk on bed. He told me he was angry that I told his fren bout my emo things but not him, and I worried til cried out. But then I felt today was a sweet meeting wif him. Coz i was able to express my love to him. I LOVE YOU JC!